There are certain things you would not trust Yahoo.com's advice columnists to teach you. Like, if you don't know how to drive a car, you should probably have someone you know and trust teach you how to do that. There are probably nuances to steering a Hummer H3 through Manhattan that a half-page "infotainment" article, sponsored by the world's Distant Number Two search engine, isn't going to touch upon. Dentistry is probably another thing you wouldn't trust Yahoo's advice columnists to teach you about. Sure, they may have useful suggestions about how to drill a deep cavity out of a molar, but the fact that there are medical schools that have four to six year programs dedicated to dentistry tells me that there is far more to professional tooth care than can be squished between dating site sidebar ads.
Another aspect of human life I personally would not consult Yahoo's "professional bloggers" about is romance. Why not? Well, while not as technically challenging as driving a car or cleaning teeth, dating is one of those things that still seems too important to the smooth functioning of existence to learn how to do from a site that most people only visit because it bought a license to the AP feed. See, I can understand getting advice from Yahoo about how to clean your toilet with a toothbrush, or how to make your vacuum cleaner not smell like burning ass, or maybe which Wii games to buy your stereotypical white nuclear family (plus one inexplicable Southeast Asian guy). All these things, while important in their own ways, are not the sorts of things that, if you fail to do them properly, will seriously mess up your life and the lives of people around you. And while I'm not saying that following Yahoo's advice will necessarily lead to failure, I AM saying that any company who gives Microsoft a run for their money when it comes to terrible, spam-ridden email certainly does not have access to the secret wisdom of Odin.
So I am a tad perplexed that Yahoo has now "teamed up" (in that comforting, co-corporate-sponsorship kind of way) with Match.com to the end of giving the world more online dating advice. Maybe they only did this because Match.com has a really good track record of helping people on the Internet find other people on the Internet to have real life sex with. I don't doubt they're good at this, though I do wonder how this can be seriously termed "romance," which online, it is. I always thought genuine romance was something that relies heavily on pheromones and subtle body language and deep, meaningful, conversations, three things that simply cannot be conveyed across the globe at light speed with a semicolon and right parenthesis. Maybe Yahoo and Match.com are trying to see if two wrongs can indeed make a right. I suppose it's worth the effort, since the success of Facebook proves that not only can one wrong make a right (as far as 500 million people are concerned), it can do so while stealing private information and selling it to Google.
So understand that it is purely "scientific curiosity" that leads me to this post, in which I will "seriously analyze" a snippet of the Web 2.0 "romantic" wisdom dispensed by the Internet's oldest, barely-surviving search engine. And its corporate partner, an "electronic personals" site that premiered a year before Yahoo, to finally give inexpensive sex professionals access to a greater customer base. At least until Craigslist debuted two years later.
You'll forgive me for indulging in a bit of conjecture, but I'm guessing - on the basis of previous forays into Yahoo's advice columns - that the advice we're about to receive would no doubt be a lot more practical coming from Craigslist's top latex spanker.
The first issue I have with this column is that it's written by a guy I've never heard of, who wrote a book I've never heard of, who started an online dating site I've never heard of, which itself is owned by a company I've never heard of, which does not have a functioning website at the moment. Okay, let me rephrase that: the first SEVERAL ISSUES I have with this column are the above.
Mr. Katz's personal website (the first link in the paragraph above) does not alleviate my concern. Judging from the strange mid-page scroll bar, he has been "featured" on all my favorite morning shows (that was me being sarcastic), as well as my favorite show hosted by Tyra Banks, the Tyra Show (that was me being even more sarcastic). Another problem is that Evan Marc Katz bills himself as a "personal trainer for smart, strong, successful women," so I'm not sure how qualified he is to give advice TO MEN about MEN TRICKING WOMEN INTO SLEEPING WITH THEM. I guess it makes logical sense - if he knows how women behave because they behave the way he trains them, he'd be the best person to tell men how to manipulate that training to the advantage of their penises. But on another level, that doesn't make very much sense. Like on an ethical level. And I question it on a marketing level, too, because I can't imagine the women trained by Mr. Katz will continue paying him for training when they start being manipulated by men who have clearly been trained by Mr. Katz to exploit the training they have paid Mr. Katz for.
Which begs the question: why has any woman, ever, paid Mr. Katz to train them personally? Mr. Katz proudly links to his own site the following interview he did with a big-time corporate news outlet (I assume it aired at like 4 AM, because even Surfing Squirrel News has to have better things to air when sane human beings are watching it. Like more clips of the Surfing Squirrel).
To put it mildly, this interview does not successfully explain Mr. Katz's appeal.
To put it mildly, this interview does not successfully explain Mr. Katz's appeal.
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I am not exaggerating when I say that Mr. Katz would not be the first person I would pay to tell me how to live my life. In fact, he would not be in the top ten (#1 is Batman, #2 is Dr. Phil). Or the top twenty, which lists my car as #20. And no, my car is not a magical talking car. And the brakes are not that good.
But enough about Mr. Katz personally. Not because I'm out of material. It's actually the exact opposite: I could spend pages making fun of Mr. Katz, and it would be the easiest job I've ever had. But it's his advice via Yahoo and Match.com that prompted this post, so it's about time I got to it.
Okay, one more note about Mr. Katz: before he FINALLY got married, he admitted that he'd never had a relationship last longer than seven months (see the video). And I have a sneaking suspicion that he may have only gotten married because CNN so rudely pointed out that a guy who isn't capable of a long-term committed relationship should not be giving other people advice ostensibly about how to find one.
Okay. Done. Now on to said advice.
Answer: note how he specifies she's in her "late 30s." The implication is clear enough: this aging dowager and her calcified groin hole were not appealing to Katz, except during that one rare occasion when he obviously could not get laid by anyone better. This is him undertaking what is known in man-whore circles (I checked their forums) as "pity sex."
Or, at least, that's the story he's telling. Which I'm strongly tempted to assume is not 100% consistent with reality. You know, that dimension of existence outside of Evan Marc Katz's head, where there is no Charles? And probably no Terrance? But where there are certainly attractive women in their late 30s who will sleep with Katz, either because the specter of age is snarling behind them (possible, but unlikely), or because they've been watching him strike out with women all night and feel sorry for him (very possible and very likely).
Or maybe I'm missing another possibility. Maybe Katz DID try to sleep with this woman before but she rejected him, because - being a woman in her late 30s - perhaps she was only interested in men of a certain level of maturity. A level some steps above the one in which you call yourself a relationship expert, but then are publicly excoriated for never having had a personal relationship last more than a little over half a year. Maybe that's why it took her until the fifth time she met Katz before she decided to give him a shot at her pubes. Maybe she was hoping that by this point, perhaps he'd grown up enough to not think advertising and other forms of lying were vehicles to intimacy.
Okay, one more note about Mr. Katz: before he FINALLY got married, he admitted that he'd never had a relationship last longer than seven months (see the video). And I have a sneaking suspicion that he may have only gotten married because CNN so rudely pointed out that a guy who isn't capable of a long-term committed relationship should not be giving other people advice ostensibly about how to find one.
Okay. Done. Now on to said advice.
Lesson #1: Assume the answer is yes
Have you ever been sold a product before? Hair tonic, a car, bathroom tile? I can guarantee you that the salesperson didn’t pitch you by saying, “Um, excuse me… I hate to bother you… would you be interested in… I mean, probably not, but—” No! Any salesman worth his commission is not just selling confidence in his product, but confidence in himself."
Have you ever been sold a product before? Hair tonic, a car, bathroom tile? I can guarantee you that the salesperson didn’t pitch you by saying, “Um, excuse me… I hate to bother you… would you be interested in… I mean, probably not, but—” No! Any salesman worth his commission is not just selling confidence in his product, but confidence in himself."
Okay, right off the bat - who the fuck buys "hair tonic" from a "salesperson" in 2010? Seriously. Do they even make "hair tonic" anymore? I thought that went out of vogue with German fascism and being able to support your family on one income.
Moving on.
Mr. Katz's first mote of wisdom is that a guy has to successfully advertise himself to a woman if he expects her to buy him. I'm going to assume he's being figurative here, and not actually suggesting that successful long-term relationships are based on whether I taste better to women than New Coke.
Moving on.
Mr. Katz's first mote of wisdom is that a guy has to successfully advertise himself to a woman if he expects her to buy him. I'm going to assume he's being figurative here, and not actually suggesting that successful long-term relationships are based on whether I taste better to women than New Coke.
You may be sitting there, wondering what the hell my problem is (about this specifically, although perhaps also in general, but one thing at a time, asshole). When I want to date someone, OF COURSE I want to put my best foot and/or face forward. Few women I know find drunken vomiting romantic, unless they also happen to be doing it. And that's all Mr. Katz is advocating, right? Just that I don't throw up on a potential mate?
Well, no. He is clearly recommending that I advertise myself, as if I were "hair tonic, a car, [or] bathroom tile." And advertising is in a lot of ways a synonym for lying (unless you're a marketing exec, in which case you unlearned the word 'lie' sophomore year). Fine, so advertising doesn't mean you outright make things up about what you're selling.
Except when it does.
But it often means exaggerating a product's best traits while downplaying it's flaws. And as the existence of so-called objective product review sites and magazines prove, most people don't trust an advertiser's exaggerations and dismissals. They consider them to be not-the-truth. Which means, of course, lies.
So Mr. Katz's first bit of advice is that no matter how bad you suck, you're supposed to pretend you don't and be a swaggering Kevin Trudeau about it. And this will get women to sleep with you. On the basis of your lies. Which, in the common vernacular, is called "tricking women into sleeping with you."
I suppose Katz is right. I will certainly meet a lot more women that way. Which is good, because I will continually have to keep meeting a lot more women that way.
Another question. Katz says he's met this woman "four times," and he clearly noticed how attractive she was this time, so I assume he must have noticed her the other times. Why didn't he try to bed her with lies then? Or at least get her number so he could make a sales pitch over the phone? Am I supposed to think that Katz gets so much ass regularly that he sometimes forgets he's met other women he could sleep with some day? Why did it take him this long to try and nail this woman?
So Mr. Katz's first bit of advice is that no matter how bad you suck, you're supposed to pretend you don't and be a swaggering Kevin Trudeau about it. And this will get women to sleep with you. On the basis of your lies. Which, in the common vernacular, is called "tricking women into sleeping with you."
I suppose Katz is right. I will certainly meet a lot more women that way. Which is good, because I will continually have to keep meeting a lot more women that way.
Lesson #2: It’s not about you
I’m out at a big Hollywood scene with beautiful people. It’s getting late, towards the end of the night, and I ask my buddy Terrance which woman he’s got his eye on. He points to an attractive brunette talking to a cute blonde across the courtyard. Slightly bemused, I tell him that I will make the introduction. As I stride over, I rationalize that if my approach doesn’t go well, she’s not really rejecting me, but rather, Terrance. I know this isn’t true, but it gets me going...
I’m out at a big Hollywood scene with beautiful people. It’s getting late, towards the end of the night, and I ask my buddy Terrance which woman he’s got his eye on. He points to an attractive brunette talking to a cute blonde across the courtyard. Slightly bemused, I tell him that I will make the introduction. As I stride over, I rationalize that if my approach doesn’t go well, she’s not really rejecting me, but rather, Terrance. I know this isn’t true, but it gets me going...
...The moral of the story? Playing my little conversational trick in all pick-up situations can be really helpful. Just ask any married friend how easy it is to talk with women when you know that there are no stakes involved. If it’s not about you, you can’t possibly fail.
In case you're wondering, the part I cut out is the part where Katz uses his amazing powers of lying to get one of these women to give him a number where her booty can potentially be called.
Katz's first bit of advice was to trick women into sleeping with you by lying to them. His second bit builds on this advice by giving you some pointers on how to lie successfully. Namely, "pretend you're trying to get your stupid friend laid, and then you won't be ashamed to say ANYTHING."
I've no doubt this tactic works fine, especially at "big Hollywood scenes." I don't think Katz is lying about what he's done. I'm not questioning how effective this tactic is. I'm only questioning how ethical it is.
Now, it would be easy to take this opportunity to make fun of how shallow and skanky Hollywood scene girls are thought to be. But honestly, I don't know any Hollywood scene girls personally, so it would be wrong of me to make fun of something that may be an unfair stereotype. All I know for certain is that some of these women were hanging out at a party with Evan Marc "Lie Your Way to Orgasm" Katz, and he successfully tricked them into at least implying that they were going to sleep with him. And I don't have to make fun of them because of that. Because just writing that makes fun of them all by itself.
One more comment on this reference to a "big Hollywood scene with beautiful people": I resent Katz for writing this. No, not because I'm jealous. There are plenty of physically attractive young women of varying degrees of sobriety clustered inside the tiny, obnoxiously loud hipster clubs that are WAY TOO CLOSE to were I live. If I wanted to trick this kind of boring, self-obsessed scenester into bringing me into the Fraternity of The Almighty Clap, I'd be out there right now, doing it. No, I resent Katz for writing this because I resent that he thinks I'm stupid enough to think that he, and therefore his advice, is somehow "cooler" than possible alternatives, simply because he hangs out where Heidi Montag and what's left of her natural bone structure do coke with tomorrow's Gary Buseys.
I know Katz is assuming I believe that "big Hollywood scene" beautiful people are by some degrees more beautiful than the "small Where-I-Live scene" beautiful people. But I don't. Because I know what healthy young human women are supposed to look like, biologically speaking, and therefore I understand that all healthy young human women, all over the world, have bodies that look about the same. I realize that out in Hollywood, the healthy young human women like smearing stuff all over their hair and getting poisonous bacteria injected into their faces and plastic bags of wet rubber jammed behind their milk glands. But what I don't understand is how putting themselves through any of this makes them more beautiful than those women who don't.
I made fun of Heidi Montag (and RIGHTLY SO), but allow me to be serious for a moment. Here is her side-by-side, before-and-after plastic surgery photo (taken from the blog tagged in the photo, of course):
All I'll say is this. The girl on the left looks like one of the local girls I could potentially sleep with. The girl on the right looks like the kind of blow-up doll Evan Marc Katz might sleep with. After the air compressor overheated.
Sorry, Katz. If we're judging the quality of each others' romantic advice on the basis of the beauty of the women who live in the same cities we do, I would automatically win. And I don't even give romantic advice.
And honestly, I don't know why we'd judge anything on the basis of something so irrelevant. So stop scene-dropping, you douchebag. Either way, it isn't helping your reputation.
Let's move on to "Lesson #3," and see if Katz has anything more to teach us about lying to women of questionable intelligence and/or genital hygiene.
Lesson #3: There’s power in numbers
Believe it or not, three is better than one. When you approach a woman who is by herself, she knows that you’re hitting on her based solely on your attraction to her. This increases the pressure in a way that doesn’t always make for a comfortable situation. That’s why the safest way to meet a woman is to approach her in a crowd of her friends...
Believe it or not, three is better than one. When you approach a woman who is by herself, she knows that you’re hitting on her based solely on your attraction to her. This increases the pressure in a way that doesn’t always make for a comfortable situation. That’s why the safest way to meet a woman is to approach her in a crowd of her friends...
...“By charming her friends and getting their approval, the one you like will be that much more open when you ask her out,” adds Charles.
"Charles" is only identified in the excluded part of this passage as "Charles, 36." According to Evan Marc Katz's MySpace profile, he's 38. So I'm just going to assume that "Charles, 36," is not in fact some real person who wrote to Evan Marc Katz to thank him for his helpful lessons on how to trick women into sex. I'm going to assume it is in fact "Evan Marc Katz, picking an age he isn't, but only by subtracting 2 from his actual age, because he's not that good at making up pointless secret identities."
Honestly, Katz. You've already made it clear that you expect me to think your advice is great because you live near the wealthiest plastic surgeons in the world. Why would you further need to boost the quality of your advice by creating fake "real people" who found it helpful? It's almost as if you're not very confident about how good your advice is. Like you're not just trying to trick me into thinking you're smart, but perhaps trying to trick yourself, by creating an elaborate fantasy world in which people two years younger than you named Charles tell you how they got laid because of something you contributed to Yahoo Advice.
Honestly, Katz. You've already made it clear that you expect me to think your advice is great because you live near the wealthiest plastic surgeons in the world. Why would you further need to boost the quality of your advice by creating fake "real people" who found it helpful? It's almost as if you're not very confident about how good your advice is. Like you're not just trying to trick me into thinking you're smart, but perhaps trying to trick yourself, by creating an elaborate fantasy world in which people two years younger than you named Charles tell you how they got laid because of something you contributed to Yahoo Advice.
Not that I'd expect any better from a guy who thinks total dishonesty is how sex happens.
But enough about Katz's apparent self-confidence problems. Is his "Lesson #3" good advice? Well, it isn't expressly about lying to women, so--
Oh wait. Yes it is. I'm supposed to pretend I'm not only approaching a group of women to ask the hottest one out. I'm supposed make her think I'm actually just a really nice guy, who randomly walks up to groups of women who are minding their own business at bars and starts "charming" conversations with them. And because I'm also a sly bastard, I'm going to carefully orchestrate the conversation so that, if the woman I want to have sex with is evidently impressed by whatever the hell I'm pretending to do, I can eventually work in a line addressed to her alone that asks for sex.
Are you people keeping up with this? Because I'm starting to get confused. Goddamn it, Katz. I want to bang that hot chick (possibly after letting her tie me to the bed; we'll see how it goes). Why do I have to pretend I'm a hyena trying to pick off a wounded gazelle?
Besides, women, having human brains, are not utterly stupid. The woman in question and her group of friends are not going to be "tricked" by this tactic. They're going to know EXACTLY why I'm sauntering up to them. The only question they'll have is which one of them specifically my penis is aimed at. No woman sitting in any bar, ever, has decided to sleep with a guy because he was desperately pretending to care about her friends as people. Why would she? Is this supposed to prove to her that I'm not a rapist? Sure, because rapists NEVER pretend to be good people before they rape.
Besides, women, having human brains, are not utterly stupid. The woman in question and her group of friends are not going to be "tricked" by this tactic. They're going to know EXACTLY why I'm sauntering up to them. The only question they'll have is which one of them specifically my penis is aimed at. No woman sitting in any bar, ever, has decided to sleep with a guy because he was desperately pretending to care about her friends as people. Why would she? Is this supposed to prove to her that I'm not a rapist? Sure, because rapists NEVER pretend to be good people before they rape.
Katz, if I'm interested in a woman, sure, it's not a good idea to just cruise up to her and ask if I can stick my penis in her mouth (unless I'm trying to make some kind of artistic or political statement). But it IS a good idea to get her attention, chat her up to see if she's interested, and then ask her for her number. That's called "how to start dating someone," and it need not be any more complicated than that. And if it seems that it should be, if the simple method keeps failing, it means I'm either constantly picking women who aren't interested, or I smell. And there are ways of dealing with both things. But in a rational world, none of these involve trying to confuse her and gaming her social circle.
"Lesson #4" can't be worse than "Lesson #3."
Lesson #4: It’s just that easy
If you ever doubt how simple it can be to meet a woman, this story should inspire you: I was at a party with some close friends and saw an acquaintance across the room. Late 30s, attractive, friendly, likeable. We’d met probably four times before through a mutual friend who was also at the party...
If you ever doubt how simple it can be to meet a woman, this story should inspire you: I was at a party with some close friends and saw an acquaintance across the room. Late 30s, attractive, friendly, likeable. We’d met probably four times before through a mutual friend who was also at the party...
...But I had one more important question to ask her before we continued talking. “Is it really that easy to get a woman to talk to you...just by calling her over with your finger?”
She took a second to consider the evidence and replied, “Apparently, it is.”
So there you have it. We men have more power than we even realized.
So there you have it. We men have more power than we even realized.
...What? What just happened? Did I miss something? We were just talking about how to manipulate stupid women into your pants with complex herding tactics. When did you switch over to the finger-signaling thing? How did you...why did you suddenly do that?? How was I supposed to know I could do that?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
I'll tell you what the hell is going on. Katz's fourth lesson is "Ignore everything I've suggested so far, and just try to bed some late 30s-year-old woman you've met before. Because her clock is a-tickin', so your cock gets a-stick-in!"
I guess I should be happy. Sure, he's just announced that the FIRST THREE LESSONS WERE A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME. But at least he's no longer recommending wholesale deceit. No, instead he's saying you should try to bed aging women who already kind-of know you. Sure, it's still emotionally manipulative, but at least you're being a bastard out in the open. That's a small ethical improvement. I mean, you're still being a callous, self-serving man-whore, but at least she KNOWS that's what you are.
Only because someone else told her. Because you were too busy trying to convince her you were some cool new kind of hair tonic that doesn't directly cause baldness. Perhaps the friend only inadvertently got the two of you talking when he tried to pull off Lesson #2 but got confused about how he was only supposed to be pretending to try and get you laid.
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| Get ready, ladies. This what 38 year old vaginas look like. |
Answer: note how he specifies she's in her "late 30s." The implication is clear enough: this aging dowager and her calcified groin hole were not appealing to Katz, except during that one rare occasion when he obviously could not get laid by anyone better. This is him undertaking what is known in man-whore circles (I checked their forums) as "pity sex."
Or, at least, that's the story he's telling. Which I'm strongly tempted to assume is not 100% consistent with reality. You know, that dimension of existence outside of Evan Marc Katz's head, where there is no Charles? And probably no Terrance? But where there are certainly attractive women in their late 30s who will sleep with Katz, either because the specter of age is snarling behind them (possible, but unlikely), or because they've been watching him strike out with women all night and feel sorry for him (very possible and very likely).
Or maybe I'm missing another possibility. Maybe Katz DID try to sleep with this woman before but she rejected him, because - being a woman in her late 30s - perhaps she was only interested in men of a certain level of maturity. A level some steps above the one in which you call yourself a relationship expert, but then are publicly excoriated for never having had a personal relationship last more than a little over half a year. Maybe that's why it took her until the fifth time she met Katz before she decided to give him a shot at her pubes. Maybe she was hoping that by this point, perhaps he'd grown up enough to not think advertising and other forms of lying were vehicles to intimacy.
I mean, if she thought that, she was clearly wrong. But good for her for giving someone with personal problems another chance! If only we could all be so lucky.
I don't know what "Lesson #5" is, but I'm fairly confident that it will not help me meet women, let alone tell me how to get one to fuck me. Unless, you know, I'm willing to execute a zany scheme that tricks scene girls into thinking I'm Josh Duhamel. Incredibly stupid, desperate, or intoxicated scene girls.
Lesson #5: The outcome doesn’t matter
Maybe you’re not her type. Maybe she’s just out of a relationship. Maybe she’s having troubles at work. Maybe she’s not perceptive enough to recognize your worth. You never know why someone may not be interested in you. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter. It’s more diminishing to your self-esteem to let fear run your life than it is to get rejected. Here’s one story below that showcases this in a big way...
Maybe you’re not her type. Maybe she’s just out of a relationship. Maybe she’s having troubles at work. Maybe she’s not perceptive enough to recognize your worth. You never know why someone may not be interested in you. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter. It’s more diminishing to your self-esteem to let fear run your life than it is to get rejected. Here’s one story below that showcases this in a big way...
I was going to wait until she came out of the supermarket and ask her out. And that’s what I did...
A big smile came across her face. “You are so cute and I couldn’t be more flattered, but I have a serious, live-in boyfriend. But I really want to thank you for asking. You totally made my day.”
Okay, so it looks like Lesson #5 consists of another vignette from the Wonderful World of Evan Marc Katz Is Awesome, a world that possibly only exists in Evan Marc Katz's mind. And I only say 'possibly' because it might also exist in diagram form on a legal pad in a drawer somewhere. I've never invented a fake reality to make myself look awesome, but if I did, I imagine that I'd keep a written record of it. Because the average human brain is not great at remembering elaborate lies that only occasionally get you sex.
Honestly, Lesson #5 contains a bit of actual, helpful advice. Katz is right that you shouldn't let fear of rejection keep you from talking to women. Most of us figured that out around the 8th grade, but for those who haven't, this is probably helpful advice.
The objection I would raise to this advice is the context in which Katz employs it. Should I really have so little fear of rejection that I badger women for sex at the grocery store? Clearly, I don't think that is a great idea.
There are a lot of places where trying to get yourself laid is okay. Like at bars, parties, maybe a family reunion, depending on your family and your lack of dignity and respect for God's Law. But there are a lot of places where trying to get ass is not okay. Like at church, your kids' soccer game, or a family reunion, if you or your family has issues with incest. I'd personally put 'grocery store' on that list. People go to the grocery store to buy food. Some of them bring their children. There are old ladies and conservative foreigners there. That does not strike me as the kind of environment where a randy, aging hipster can harass women he doesn't know for sex. Mostly because I'm confident most women feel that way. I don't know a lot about women, but what I do know leads me to believe that buying milk and fresh baked goods next to someone's grandmother does not make vaginas as juicy as an idiot might assume.
But I'm not Evan Marc Katz, and I don't live in places where Hollywood parties happen. Maybe he DOES inhabit an actual reality where women are shopping for hook-ups at the supermarket. And even if they're not, are flattered that random strangers come up to them and ask if they can take their pants off.
Knowing what the women in Katz's area look like, I'm not surprised they may live by different rules than other women. When 20% of your body is composed of the same chemicals as hair tonic and bathroom tile, it makes sense to advertise your sexual viability at a Super Wal-Mart.
Just be prepared to be "purchased" by guys like Evan Marc Katz. Sneakily, from the shadows, so you don't get spooked. And he might try to pay for you with fake money some guy in his head "sent" him as thanks for teaching him how to treat women like dimwitted semen receptacles.
You want to get laid, and/or fall in love? Here's how you do it: pursue your interests, be personable, and be honest with whomever you're attracted to about your intentions. It might take some time, depending on luck and how much you go to the gym, but eventually, if you want to find someone to be intimate with, you will. There are almost 7 billion human beings on the planet. Clearly, finding someone to sleep with is not complex dentistry.
Finding love is obviously harder. But it only gets more difficult if you act as st00p1d as Evan Marc Katz.
Honestly, Lesson #5 contains a bit of actual, helpful advice. Katz is right that you shouldn't let fear of rejection keep you from talking to women. Most of us figured that out around the 8th grade, but for those who haven't, this is probably helpful advice.
The objection I would raise to this advice is the context in which Katz employs it. Should I really have so little fear of rejection that I badger women for sex at the grocery store? Clearly, I don't think that is a great idea.
There are a lot of places where trying to get yourself laid is okay. Like at bars, parties, maybe a family reunion, depending on your family and your lack of dignity and respect for God's Law. But there are a lot of places where trying to get ass is not okay. Like at church, your kids' soccer game, or a family reunion, if you or your family has issues with incest. I'd personally put 'grocery store' on that list. People go to the grocery store to buy food. Some of them bring their children. There are old ladies and conservative foreigners there. That does not strike me as the kind of environment where a randy, aging hipster can harass women he doesn't know for sex. Mostly because I'm confident most women feel that way. I don't know a lot about women, but what I do know leads me to believe that buying milk and fresh baked goods next to someone's grandmother does not make vaginas as juicy as an idiot might assume.
But I'm not Evan Marc Katz, and I don't live in places where Hollywood parties happen. Maybe he DOES inhabit an actual reality where women are shopping for hook-ups at the supermarket. And even if they're not, are flattered that random strangers come up to them and ask if they can take their pants off.
Knowing what the women in Katz's area look like, I'm not surprised they may live by different rules than other women. When 20% of your body is composed of the same chemicals as hair tonic and bathroom tile, it makes sense to advertise your sexual viability at a Super Wal-Mart.
Just be prepared to be "purchased" by guys like Evan Marc Katz. Sneakily, from the shadows, so you don't get spooked. And he might try to pay for you with fake money some guy in his head "sent" him as thanks for teaching him how to treat women like dimwitted semen receptacles.
You want to get laid, and/or fall in love? Here's how you do it: pursue your interests, be personable, and be honest with whomever you're attracted to about your intentions. It might take some time, depending on luck and how much you go to the gym, but eventually, if you want to find someone to be intimate with, you will. There are almost 7 billion human beings on the planet. Clearly, finding someone to sleep with is not complex dentistry.
Finding love is obviously harder. But it only gets more difficult if you act as st00p1d as Evan Marc Katz.
